Masks Lyrics – Planty X

I don’t understand
Where the masks start
And I end

I pick at my skin
Tear wounds wide open
In hopes that what will reemerge
Is a new face
Of a stranger

There’s a wrap behind my eyes
When i dwell on it, it wrinkles
And disappears
Some kind of revelation
Hiding safely out of range
I twist and turn my gaze
And i feel it for a moment
The grand reveal
It never comes

I wear a hundred faces at a time
Arrange them in fractals, spirals
Anything but lines
They merge and blur and warp
Into what might
On first look
Resemble a person
But at the centre of that structure
Even i don’t know what lies

I just don’t understand
Where the masks start
And where i end

Others feel the vertigo of voices
Or the rush of blinding fear
I feel nothing
Yet tell myself that it is everything
Everyone blindly believes
That’s what i tell myself at least
But they don’t dwell on me like i do

The fear of being watched
Nonsensical as is
Is just the coil’s last attempt
At keeping me in check
Shame, the last alarm
Has my fingers pressed against it
I think i know without it
I think i
I think i’ll disappear

I just
I just don’t understand
Where the masks start
And whether there even is something to end

And i scratch
I gnaw
I hit
I break
I dig
I burn
I squeeze
I rip
I hate
Oh, i hate
Oh, i hate
What pretends to stare back at me when i look upon a mirror
Its eyes plastic, quite convincing they might seem
But they don’t ever see

My words and days are counted
For even this mask will be shed
It, this being, that inhabits
Always thinks, that they will stay
A million rusted anchors
Cast away at bay
It always thinks
It always feels
It never does
Any of those

It doesn’t know
Where it starts
Doesn’t know where it ends
Doesn’t have a name, nor wishes upon one
It only waits and seeks
Following, not leading
For something, someone real
To press their hands against it
And hold it up to their warm face

To be put on
Worn not like a lover
But a mask

And even these words are not its own
But it knows that very well.